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Loving You Silently – Radar NTT

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I stepped in haste. In front of a bookstore, my eyes peered in through the window pane. I have a book I want to buy, but I don’t have enough funds yet.

My body suddenly staggered to the side. Someone hit me. Ah, it was my fault for not paying attention to the road.

“Heh, if you walk with your eyes!” he snapped.

The girl looked at me intently. I was amazed. She is so… beautiful.

“You’re deaf, aren’t you? Just be quiet, huh!” he cursed.

I know the girl must be upset. But I remained silent. Hold it tighter. For some reason, even though he was angry, he still looked charming. Could this be called love at first sight?

I gave him a smile, hoping his anger subsided. However, he got even angrier.

“You crazy boy!” the more. He then left leaving me still glued.

***

That afternoon, I came to Merjosari Malang park. Sitting on a long wooden bench painted dark brown, waiting for the arrival of a friend who promised to come to meet me.

My mind wanders, remembering what happened that time. A collision incident with a beautiful girl whose face I can’t forget.

Although a week has passed, the image of his face continues to dance in the eyelids.

I glance around. My eyes are fixed on someone sitting on a bench, which is three meters to my left.

Isn’t that… him? the girl who bumped into me the other day. My mind soared, excited.

I looked at him closely. Ah, she looks prettier than before. A collarless sky blue shirt combined with matching jeans made her white skin look even brighter. He has a pair of eagle eyes. So sharp to see.

“Hey! Who’s that look?” Suddenly the friend I’ve been waiting for appears. He smiled, teasing me.

I just looked down. Shy. Didn’t think I’d be caught watching a girl.

“You like him?” asked my friend.

I replied with a hand gesture, that I simply admired him. Only my best friend understands the sign language I use.

I love him secretly, yet so deeply. Let me bury this feeling, until the limit of time that can not be estimated.

I just muttered, of course only in my heart.

“Just be quiet. She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Kobus poked my nose.

I looked down. Maybe right now my cheeks are flushed with embarrassment. Kobus really likes to tease me. Ah… he’s my only friend. He is the only one who accepts me as I am. Unlike those who looked at me with one eye when they knew I couldn’t speak.

I turned my head towards the girl. Just a moment. Then my head dropped again.

“Let’s go to the bookstore!” take Kobus. His hand touched my shoulder.

I nodded, then got up and walked hand in hand with him, leaving the garden, leaving the beautiful girl behind.

I looked away before walking away. He’s still there. Sit with your right foot on top of your left. His gaze focused on the book in his hand.

Apparently he also likes to read. My admiration for him grew. But I realized, expecting it, was like a hill that misses the moon.

Kobus clasped my arm, telling me to walk faster. He knew I was watching the girl. ish! You Kobus, can’t see I’m happy.

“Wake up, Lalik! It’s not good to dream while awake,” he joked.

I rolled my eyes. Kobus laughed in response. Again, he tapped my shoulder. I love it when he does that. It was as if he was channeling his passion for me.

I wonder, what is that girl’s name? I’d love to get acquainted. But suddenly there was a feeling of fear. I’m afraid she’s like any other girl who walks away once she finds out about my flaws.

Maybe I should keep quiet. Secretly admire, secretly harbor feelings, and can only say the best for him.

Let me keep loving him in silence.

By: Lalik Kongkar

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